A Million Different Kinds of Beautiful

Four different smiles make for four different beautifuls.  (Taken by Hannah Jacobs.  Smiles of Chauntel Jacobs, Sara Drummond, Mickie Rigby, and Hannah Jacobs.)

        Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought something along the lines of "I look awful!"?  Or looked at that popular, well-liked girl and wished you could have her hair, or eyes, or smile?  We've all done it.  Everybody has.  Even that popular girl with the fan club!  We all have insecurities, and, unfortunately, we will always have flaws and insecurities.  Yet through these weaknesses, we have beauty.  Even after we've overcome one insecurity, we have many others.  But lucky for us, there will always be another beauty to discover within ourselves.
     
       When I was in 6th grade, I didn't think much of my appearance, I didn't think of my popularity level, I didn't care so much about a social life.  But the moment I stepped into junior high, everything changed.  Suddenly, I noticed every little flaw about myself, and every single one of them seemed like a major deal.  It was like everyone could see that teensy weensy mistake, and everyone would judge me for it.
     
         I looked at the other girls and couldn't see anything wrong with them.  So what was wrong with me?  Why did I have so many imperfections when none of the other girls did?  It wasn't fair!  Why on earth did they get perfect skin, perfect eyes, perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect everything?  I looked in the mirror and saw what I thought to be a chubby girl with an awkward smile, big nose, and red, watery eyes. I did not like my appearance.
     
        Soon, I started to feel like an annoyance to everyone.  My voice was high and obnoxious, I talked too much, I didn't know how to react to boys (sometimes, I still don't know how to react to boys), I got in the way, and I was most definitely not confident.

        I realized I had made a crucial mistake.  I officially had a nemesis.  I realized that I was my own enemy.  And that is the worst kind of enemy to have.

        I won't lie.  I cried sometimes.  I was a 7th grade mess.  I felt so completely alone, I felt so desperate, so ugly, so annoying.  I felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to my school.  And I was miserable.

       In 8th grade, things got a little better.  I still compared myself to others.  I still didn't really think I was pretty.  But alas, things were better.  I had two fantastic best friends that have changed my life, though they may not know it.
 
        9th grade is where things really changed.

         One night, I was kneeling by my bed, saying my prayers, pleading that I would realize I am pretty and nice and not annoying.  I kind of expected God to change my thoughts right then and there, and make me see the real me.  But that's not what happened.  Instead, I got an opportunity to think differently.  The next day, my sister and I were at the store, and the ground was covered in thick slush.  It was easy to get stuck in.

        As we were getting ready to leave, I noticed a woman in the distance struggling with getting her shopping cart through the slush.  I felt bad for her, but started getting in my van even though I wanted to help her.  But something stopped me.  I could not lift my foot into the van, almost like there was an invisible force blocking me.  So I turned around and ran to help the woman.  It took a few minutes, but we eventually reached her car.  I turned to leave, but before I could go, she looked me in the eyes and with watery eyes quietly said, "thank you so much."

      Without realizing it, that kind lady had helped me.  I went home, and could not stop smiling.  I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "I am a good person,"  I began to love who I was on the inside.  Every once in a while, I would feel annoying, but I loved who I was.  And as I loved my personality, who I was, I began to look differently at my outer appearance.  I realized that while I saw my imperfections, nobody else seemed to notice them.

        I began looking in the mirror and saying to myself, "I look beautiful!"  I soon started to believe it.  I became a brighter, happier person.  I started to realize that I need not care what I look like.  Heavenly Father thinks I'm beautiful no matter what.  He doesn't look at me and think I'm ugly.  He looks at me and thinks, "Look at this beautiful creation of mine.  Look at her smile, and eyes!  Oh, she is my beautiful daughter, and I love her dearly!"

       I know now that I am beautiful.  I know it without a doubt!  And when you know that about yourself, it becomes easier to think the same of others.  I look at others, and notice their strengths, not their weaknesses.  And God does the same!  Heavenly Father doesn't just love me, he loves all of you, too.  He thinks you're beautiful.  He loves you more than you could ever imagine.

        You, dear daughters of Heavenly Father, are marvelous.  Beautiful.  Dazzling.  Bright.  Loving.  Caring.  God wants you to know it, too.  He is sad every time His daughters look down on themselves.  It hurts Him.  Because while you see imperfections, He sees beauty, and the light of Christ within you.

       Whether you're tall, short, chubby, skinny, short haired, long haired, blonde, brunette, red-headed, anything, anything at all, He, and others, will always love you.

        There are a million different kinds of beautiful, inner and outer, in this world.  And He loves them all.  I strongly encourage you to love them all.  And that includes loving your own different kind of beautiful.

       Be strong.  Love God.  Love everyone you meet.  Love yourself.  And you will find yourself a happier person.